HCLACS, I’m kinda speechless. What you explained was like a bolt of lightning. That concept goes a long way to helping me understand my inner turmoil. Logically, I shouldn’t want to be with someone like my H, but I feel unable to let go. Why? I’ve been beating myself up over it for weeks, thinking I’m weak and allowing my heart to overrule my head. Now I realise it’s not because I’m being a doormat, but because I am acting on principle. Something I’ve done consistently this entire time. That actually shows tremendous strength. It’s not to say I haven’t reacted emotionally at times, because I have, but that isn’t necessarily weakness either. It’s authentic. I’m teaching my son to validate and process his emotions. I cried driving home from my Halloween party tonight, so I tried to reassure him through the tears.
M: Mama is sad. It’s okay to feel sad. We all feel sad sometimes. That’s when we ask for help or a cuddle. S: Mama sad. M: Yes, but it’s okay. Do you want to hold my hand? S: Hand please. M: Love you, S. S: Love you, mama.
DS, I called my parents and they came to spend some time with me and hear me out. I’m relaxing now with a cuppa watching The Office. Thanks for caring. Ps. I saw The Chemical Brothers, love 90s music! Enjoy.
