Question for J...would you rather she get a babysitter or some stranger to take care of your children when she wants to go out? Most people would jump at the chance to have their children w/them more than the 50/50 arrangement. Are you wanting to say no to "punish or be spiteful" w/your wife because she wants to go out?
If you truly do not have plans for the evening that she asks, there is no harm in taking the children. However, I would stipulate to her that she needs to schedule the extra time w/you in advance because you may have plans.
You need to sit down and think about what you really want...do you want that additional time w/them or just go w/what has been agreed upon? Be sure to document all of the additional time that you have them. You just never know if you will need to provide proof of how much they are w/you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
