Post Birthday BD

[rooskers]

As a lot of our friends have said: it just all happened so fast. We were fine, great, getting along, etc. and then the next she was gone and no longer even looks or speaks to me.

My XW told me the night before she left that she loved me and was looking forward to life together. The next day my wife never talked to me again about "us" other than she broke up with me a long time ago and was tired of faking it. Within two months we were divorced and have only seen each other in the exchanges with D13.

What took me some time to realize is that while it happened in a blink of an eye for us, our significant other had been separating from the relationship for a long time.

Like I feel like I should write her a letter or something telling her I'm sorry for my part in the failure, etc. I guess I just figured there would be more fighting towards the end.

My XW didn't start the hostility until after the divorce. Be prepared for everything in the entire world to be your fault. If it is anything like my situation you will be accused of horrible things. Any letters of apology, especially ones admitting to anything, will be used against you in a court of law.

I think as a male a lot of times we feel that we have to fix things.

I know for me that is one of my 180's. Although I was trying to make things better it was perceived as controlling instead of helping. In a way it is a form of control even if it is done with the best of intentions. It is not our job to fix the whole relationship or fix our partner. The only thing we can fix is our half of a relationship and the only way to do that is to improve our own self.

It just feels strange to basically just sit back, let go, and say "oh well!"

You are not just sitting back and letting go you are fighting for it by becoming the best possible you that you can. This is so important because it is literally the solution to what you should do whether she comes back or leaves forever. It is also the best solution for your child as well. In all cases you become a better person.