22 Years Gone Part 2

[rooskers]

D13 is going to have a therapy session with her mom so D13 can set her boundaries and expectations during her visitations. I am really hoping XW truly listens to what D13 is asking but am not too hopeful.

D13 has been having a hard time lately and said she believes her mom is lost and wants to come back home but doesn't know how. I asked her what actions made her believe this to be true and D13 said whenever D13 brings me up in a conversation she gets really sad for a moment then immediately gets angry. She also said whenever they pull up to the house her mom gets teary eyed but then changes back to anger again. I asked D13 how these thoughts made her feel and then validated those feelings. I have really been working a lot on trying to just listen and validate D13 but I struggle because one of my 180's was not always trying to "fix" things.

I am working on being an amazing dad and trying to get the courage to go back to college to finish a master's degree. My half of the retirement has been distributed to me and for some reason it triggered me badly. I think this is because it was a part of my dreams/goals from the past and those dreams/goals are no more. Now I can refinance the house in my name only so now I can get the title in my name only.

I am still living week to week and cannot yet envision life beyond that time frame but my heart no longer hurts all the time. It is difficult to GAL due to the fact I am a full time parent, most of my friends are married, and I have to work a lot. Most of my spare time is working on housework, running errands, and doing projects around the house.

It is hard not to echo the words of D13 "I miss my family." Both D13 and I realize that the family we loved so much was only our reality and not XW reality. XW for her own reasons didn't see things the same way we did and we both understand that now. D13 and I both know that the holiday season is going to be a giant emotional roller coaster.