Still married couple from Scandinavia

[neffer]

Life has mysterious timing sometimes. Ease your mind. Keep walking Ben.

[BenB]

Thank you AS for the kind words,

I´m definitely a gentleman in that sense and would of course never dream of splitting the bill or anything. I was really good at connecting with women back in 2009 right before I met my w. Maybe not so good as walking up to strangers and opening sets to use PUA language but definitely good at building attraction, taking hints, telling stories and what NOT to do.

I already have a few matches on Tinder so that´s a positive sign

[BenB]

When you said you hadn't spoken to her in 2 weeks my first thought was that you would probably hear from her soon. So yeah, it was probably just because of the lack of contact.

Also you might edit your signature, some people that don't know you are separated might wonder why you are talking about dating when your signature says you're still living together!

I just checked my signature and on mine it says she moved out September 28? Are you seeing something else? Perhaps I´m doing it wrong? This is what I see:

Me: 38
Stbxw: 35
No kids
Mini bd: February 6, 2019
ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019
Told her to move out: September 8, 2019
W moved out: September 28, 2019
Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
6 month divorce waiting period starts counting on October 3, 2019

[BenB]

Life has mysterious timing sometimes. Ease your mind. Keep walking Ben.

Thank you Neffer, these little words of encouragement help more than you think. Thank you for taking your time to write them.

[AnotherStander]

When you said you hadn't spoken to her in 2 weeks my first thought was that you would probably hear from her soon. So yeah, it was probably just because of the lack of contact.

Also you might edit your signature, some people that don't know you are separated might wonder why you are talking about dating when your signature says you're still living together!

I just checked my signature and on mine it says she moved out September 28? Are you seeing something else? Perhaps I´m doing it wrong? This is what I see:

Me: 38
Stbxw: 35
No kids
Mini bd: February 6, 2019
ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019
Told her to move out: September 8, 2019
W moved out: September 28, 2019
Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
6 month divorce waiting period starts counting on October 3, 2019

That's strange, here's what's appearing below your posts:

Me: 38
Wife: 34
M: 9 months T:9 years
No children
No known OM
No BD really
Still live together

[BenB]

Oh! I see, I´ve made a mistake but sorted now! Thanks AS

[BenB]

Journal -

So this happened. 2.30 am last night I was half asleep when I get a call from a number I don´t recognize. I don´t answer at first but I get a text right away "call w". I call but her phone is off and see another text - "on this phone". I call and she answers.

She had been out with her friend at a bar just a few minutes from where I live. While she was in the restroom, her phone and wallet were stolen from her purse. For an hour she tried to remember my phone number before getting it right. As she explains she starts crying which she almost never does. She is begging me to sleep at my place, she has no money now that all her cards are stolen and is scared to walk all the way home to her place.

I told her it´s fine to stay this one night and asked in how long she could be outside. She said 5-10 minutes. As soon as she saw me she burst into tears and hugged me for a good minute or so. She borrows a t shirt and we go to bed. I ask if she is alright? She´s stressed about the phone, wants to report it stolen and worries someone can use her card online. I let her borrow my phone to call the bank and block the cards. For the phone, she has to wait until the morning when their phone lines open.

She then proceeds to tell me about some of the things that had been happening lately. Her best friend whom we both know very well, has had a cocain addiction for about two years. I had no idea of this and was shocked when she told me. Would never have guessed that about her. Lately it´s gotten worse when she almost overdosed but was afraid to call emergency because if the police finds out she could lose her job and her life is over.

W is crying: This..is already so sad. I mean us...our situation...and then I have to deal with her. She was my best friend and I don´t know who she is anymore. She has none of her old friends left she only hangs out with people who do drugs. I haven´t told you this but at our wedding she asked if I wanted some cocain. I asked her if she is out of her mind! I´m getting married and you´re asking if I want drugs!! She still asked me if I´m sure I don´t want some.

She spoke about her friend for a while before she again thanked me for allowing her to stay there. We probably fell asleep around 5.30 am. The next morning I told her she can have more of her divorce money to buy a new phone and she borrowed my laptop to order a new simcard. And that´s it. She came home and messaged me from her laptop and thanked me for helping.

I don´t care if it´s the wrong thing to do to have her over. I will help in an extreme situation like that and I treated her like I would treat any friend in need. But that said, I´m wondering if she wasn´t taking advantage of the emergency situation to meet me again.If she was, what´s the point of all this then? It´s highly unlikely she´ll be in another emergency situation so she won´t see me again. I´ll probably never know what her motives are but clearly she is struggling in her new life.

[Traveler]

I don´t care if it´s the wrong thing to do to have her over. I will help in an extreme situation like that and I treated her like I would treat any friend in need

Hi Ben, I applaud your "Good Samaritan" action, helping her in an emergency even if it wasn't in your best interests with no expectations of anything in return.

[neffer]

As CW says, it’s about expectations. Well done Ben. Keep that road.

[DS9]

Nice job Ben. I think you absolutely did the right thing for your XW. Hope she's ok now.