It’s still always that awkward evening and morning routine where we pass each other in the hallway as we switch kids rooms to tuck them in. There was always a grab of the hand, slap on the butt, hip check, whatever. Sometimes we’d both just stop for a hug and a quick kiss. Now it’s just figuring out who’s going which way so we can take the path that maintains the most distance between us.
An old guy I worked with told me this joke once: "There are three phases of sex in marriage. The first is right after you get married and have sex all over the house. The second is when you have kids and have sex in the bedroom with the door locked. The third is when the kids have moved out and you're older and you pass each other in the hallway and say 'f*** you'" Had forgotten that joke until reading your post, haha! Hopefully you're not there yet!
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Sometimes a “goodbye” or “have a good day” before I leave for work but I think I’m the only one that says that anymore. I usually try to leave when she’s out of the kitchen so I can just sneak out and avoid the awkwardness.
You keep doing you. Don't let her make you second guess who you are. When I was in college I went on a foreign study program and lived with other kids for 6 months. In the mornings I would greet everyone when passing in the hallways or in the classrooms, just "good morning" or "hey how's it going." One time one of them said to me "how can you always be so happy in the mornings, that drives me crazy." After some thought I decided that was HER problem, not mine! If I choose to be happy and polite to others and they don't like it, then they can sit there and stew about it, I'm not going to change who I am. Right? So tell her "good morning", "goodbye", "have a nice day." If she doesn't like it then that's her problem.
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I could be wrong but I think she feels like I pushed her out of the bedroom and she has some resentment. The truth is, I don’t want it to be my room. She’s welcome back in the bed anytime so I don’t want to make her build more resentment and feel like her decision to leave is justified and have no desire to come back.
Yes she probably does resent it. Like I said above, her problem. This isn't about getting her to like you, it's about RESPECT. She may be angry and resentful, but she can't help but respect you when you stand up for yourself.
Originally Posted by Augusto
When this all started, we were both sleeping in different sofas. Then I asked my W to please sleep in the master bedroom, she told me "that's not MY bed". One night I wanted to give her some space and I slept on the floor of the room.
Then I said, what the heck am I doing, and just rearranged the room and slept in my bed. It feels so good, and I don't feel bad at all because I offered and she declined.
GOOD! Even if she didn't decline you have no reason to feel bad about sleeping in your own damn bed though.
