Divorce because I betrayed her trust - THREAD 4

[DaB35]

Thanks, AS.

Rest assured I used a good quality 2x4

OK, so I should still apply the 'cool and calm' approach even at this late stage in the game. That sounds correct.

December will be the first Christmas in 8 years without her by my side. However I will be able to see my family all the time. However, my mum is already worrying about whether to send W's parents a Christmas card!

I am with you on the enablers. Yes, she has surrounded herself with people who are agreeing with what she's saying. Nobody appears to be challenging her. Might be a reason why she isn't in IC herself; she feels that since everyone agrees with her, then it's all sorted. My sister disagrees to a degree, so W has consequently distanced herself from her, which has upset my sister a lot.

I think it is normal to fall back to an extent and try to second guess what S is thinking. But I can't spend energy on this when I could put that into GAL or PMA etc. I have to keep reminding myself the following:
- I accepted I was dishonest to my W, and for a long time
- I have profound remorse for the dishonesty
- I accepted my problems and sought help
- I made her feel unloved as a result of these problems
- Whilst undeniably hurt and betrayed, W has chosen not to work on the M at this time and she must accept her decision
- I have turned things around, bettered myself and improved my overall outlook
- I have done many positive things recently rather than become depressed and inward
- She is missing out on this new me - her choice, her loss
- I am less NGS and more AMOAFWL