One thing I've thought about - when D is finalised and it is all done and dusted, what do you say to your S?
I presume when it happens she will contact me saying "The D is finalised now, so we are not married anymore." I will also get confirmation from the courts anyway.
"OK, thanks for the info."
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Part of me wants to say in response, "Well, you got what you wanted."
Rather than smack you I'll just hand you this 2x4 and allow you do to the honors
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I know that is very petty and bitter and doesn't achieve anything. But it is true. She wanted it, I accepted it despite fighting for M, she's going to get it, and with that all the rubbish that goes with it (loss of house, living arrangements in disarray etc.).
All valid thoughts, but no need to share that with her!
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I'm not sure what will happen between us when it does go through. She has said several times that she wants to remain friends
Well that's really up to you. My XW and I were distant for a while after D but we have since settled into a friendship. I think it's tough at first because there are still so many raw feelings, but you will get over it eventually and maybe then you'll find you can be friends with her. Or maybe not! It's your choice though.
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Is she still being emotional and therefore not being logical? Does she still have enablers that are pushing her in a certain direction?
A lot of LBS's struggle with enablers, thinking they are forcing the WAS to do something they might not normally do. That is not the case, it is the WAS that draws the enablers. They alienate people who don't agree with what they are doing and draw people to themselves that do support them. So don't sweat the enablers, they are not the cause of this, your W is.
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Hang on there D35, you're over-thinking again...!
Yeah, it's normal, we all did it. But in the end it doesn't give you any answers.
