Ben, my attitude about dating is similar to what CW posted. If you feel you're ready then go for it. There are others here who have religious and/or personal views that it's wrong unless you are divorced, and I respect their opinions. But in the end it's your life and your choice.
I started dating well after S but before D. I think it was about a year after S. I had been with my XW for almost 25 years, so it was a big struggle for me. I really wrestled with the feeling that I was the one cheating on her (ironically enough), just because I had programmed myself over the years to be devoted only to her. I even struggled with ED during that time. My emotions were all over the place. But after a while I adjusted to the "new normal" of it all.
Originally Posted by BenB
I've downloaded a few different dating apps now and by the looks of it, I have a great advantage because of my latest photo shoot. Most profiles I see have blurry photos in low quality. But perhaps men try harder than women since they sort of have to.
Yes indeed you have a big advantage not only because you have excellent, professional photos, but because they are you and they are current! One complaint I heard over and over again was that men frequently use photos of themselves that are quite out of date, taken before they gained 40 pounds and turned grey or lost their hair! I also heard about a lot of men who used photos that weren't even them. They just show up to these dates with no explanation of why they look old and fat instead of like the supermodel in their profile! Anyway what I often heard from women is they just wanted honesty. They didn't care if someone was carrying a few extra pounds or grey or whatever, it was that when you lie in your profile then that makes them wonder how they can trust anything else about you. So just being truthful and honest and using professional photos is going to move you to the top of the list.
Also, especially here in America, men treat women poorly. I could not believe the stories I heard about men expecting the woman to pay for a first date, or asking them to split the bill. Are you kidding me? Or they show up in shorts and a t-shirt and are impolite as if they don't know how to behave on a date. I got so many compliments for simply holding a door open for a date, or pulling their chair out, or helping them with their coat. That's all just normal stuff for me but to them it was unexpected. So dress nice, listen to them talk, don't make it about you unless they ask questions, be a gentleman, be respectful and you will be in very high demand. Plus I've seen pictures of you and know you're a good-looking dude, your biggest problem is going to be deciding from among many admiring women
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So I'm not as confident about dating as I am in other aspects of life.
It was the same for me. I didn't know what to do, had not been on a date since I was in my early 20's and there I was in my 50's trying to date! But like I said above, dress nice, be a gentleman, be relaxed and confident. That's really all there is to it. You'll do great!
