At times I'm so incredulous as to how unaware my W seems of the situation she's put us all in.
But in her eyes it's all your fault. She's probably incredulous that you don't see that. I'm not saying she's right, but a WAW's perceptions are her reality. She thinks you drove her to take action, and now that you're looking at the wreckage of your M, she's probably angry that you think it's all her fault when she thinks it's you. I don't say stuff like this to defend the WAW, but to explain her mindset. It's one of the reasons why it's important to avoid confrontation and focus on listening and validating- because her feelings, no matter how wrong they seem to you, are her reality.
