So my wife has a late night gig tonight- she's in the beauty industry and recently got a gig to do makeup for a big show here in town. This is a great experience for her and will be great for her resume. She started about 2 weeks ago and works about 3 nights a week. To say i'm a little nervous about it is an understatement. Don't get me wrong, i'm really happy for her, but considering the state of our relationship I am most definitely insecure about the whole thing. Tonight being halloween, there is an after party for the crew and of course my mind is playing all types of crazy movies.
Anyway, she missed Halloween with our son tonight because of it. I took the little guy trick or treating with cousins and it was a nice time. I watched all the other families together and it made me realize how much I cherish my FAMILY. It is what I want, and want to give my heart and my focus to. It made me wonder about my W. If this family isn't what she wants, then whats the sense of trying to DB? If her heart isn't into making this work, then why am I wasting time being patient, pulling away to get her back, detaching, 180's etc. I mean yes, I know the whole thing is to become a better person with or without her, but I can't lie. I want to be happy again. Is it selfish of me to think about throwing in the towel now in hopes of finding love with someone else? sorry guys, it's just one of those nights...
