Also. I am not denying that there have not been instances of verbal and emotional abuse in our marriage. There was also a lot of bitterness and negativity from both of us as we both have just been struggling to keep ourselves sane while raising our son. In recent years we both have been drinking a good bit every single day to cope.
She has literally shared my abuse with everyone on "her side" as justification for the affair.. "Well yeah, she cheated, but she was unhappy and he was an [censored].. so just remember there are two sides to every story." is what a friend of mine heard from a friend of hers.
I am in IC and working through my anger and hope to never say any terrible things to her or anyone else again. She brought up fights we had 3-5 years previously and screenshots of text messages of mean things I had said to her over the years.
Her IC is separate from mine, and while we were still living in the same home she shared how her therapist would tell her the best thing to do is just to get a divorce. How her daughters were both married to assholes and now they're re-married and are as happy as can be. Claimed that once the intimacy was gone, there was no way you could ever get it back with the same person ever again, you just had to move on.
