Relapse and Lost Progress Part II

[sandi2]

At the end she asked me if she could stay for the night and find a place tomorrow. I sat for a good while until I said okay.

She should have found a motel. You really can't give her an inch, b/c she will take a mile every time.

She also told me near the end, when it calmed down a bit, that she blew up at her boss and has been assigned anger management classes and is also seeking overall therapy on her own. She said she found out she can go off record (not sure how since I was told otherwise) and is going to start. She kept saying she is a piece of sh!t and just overall seemed so angry and full of self hatred.

Okay, in this one quote about what she's saying to you, can you see the point where she starts playing on your sympathy?

Anyway, I feel scared about all this but it doesn’t seem like I’m in danger of her not paying for the home.

Previously you have said the military will pretty much take care of you, so what exactly do you fear? I'm just asking, so that I can better understand the LBS's frame of mind.

This feels like a win. The problem is the inevitable reality she can’t afford it and she already asked if it was feasible for me to work part time.

She has torn the marriage apart, and has spent a lot of money, so she really can't tell you to get a part time job to help pay the bills.......which is WW talk that means you will be helping her. She has to clean up her side of the street. Don't fold under emotional pressure, b/c she's going to play on your heart. You are not required to come up with options for her, b/c she fired you. If she asks again about you working, I suggest you bluntly tell her, "NO". She will try to get you to feel sorry for her, and that's why she is talking about taking anger management, etc.

I am proud of you, 44. I know this has been very hard for you. I know it is not what you wanted. Keep your eyes wide open and don't trust anything she says.