Confused and Lost

[KristinG]

OVR! I am by no means healed. I still cry like a baby almost on a daily basis. I am failing at no contact. We talk all day via texting and calling. She calls me pet names and says ILY. I occasionally slip up and call her hun or babe, etc. I am sticking to my guns about not spending time together and really trying to remind myself that I am taking time now. She isn't making the rules, she doesn't get to determine my schedule or my life. I am taking time and I really need to think about whether it is healthy for me to be in a R with her. No more begging, no more hopeful anticipation for attention - waiting on baited breath for a glance, smile, or the brush of a hand. I'm on a voyage to FIND my worth, appreciate, and love myself. And a special thanks to this community who has given me a system of support from people who understand what it's like to be completely taken by surprise and left feeling like they lost an appendage or had a kidney stolen for sale on the black market.