I assume that you are referring to me as " the one person who has mentioned my mistake in every single one of his posts."
Originally Posted by Iowadazd
Sorry for being confrontational to every. I'm hurting and angry.
no worries. Hurt people hurt people. We get it.
Originally Posted by Iowadazd
1. tonight I'm not going to have an talks about the marriage. I will just trick or treat and get the eff out of there after. 2. I'm going to limit my interactions with my wife either by text or phone. 3. This will give me time to read up on boundaries and validation. I feel I've been making too many mistakes in this process. my mind is everywhere these days. 4. I heard of a book called After the Affair. I'm treating her posting nudes as an affair. 5. I'm going to do some project around the house that I have put off. It's a good time with the kids gone because they can be distracting.
I liked your list, BTW (except #4 - this was not an A - there was no AP - and I would read all the DB stuff first. I read "after the affair" and it is not as helpful - my $.02). Your list shows you are starting to turn things around.
I have been through a lot with my xW and have learned a lot. When I first came on this site, "Job" gave me a very hard time. In retrospect, he was spot on, and I wish I had met him and listened to him sooner.
You are going through a hard time. Possibly the hardest time - it was for me, without a doubt. I sympathize. But you have to put aside your feelings of anger, indignation, shame, and self-pity and start listening to what almost everyone is telling you. You are acting out of emotion and it is causing more damage.
If you want everyone to tell you how awful your W is and validate how you feel about her, that is fine. Everyone needs a sounding board sometime. But it is not going to help your M. However...If you truly want to stop this speeding train from ending your M, then you have to leave your comfort zone, start acknowledging your role in this, and begin taking our advice. you cannot control your W, but you can improve yourself. To do so, you have to first acknowledge your flaws.
Everyone is doing this for no other reason than to help you. We are taking time out of our lives to help you. So I am going to ask you to bare your soul one last time:
Originally Posted by RAI
Your W is seeking attention/affection from other men. It is clear that she was not getting sufficient attention/affection from you. Please tell us the ways in which you have NOT been giving her attention and affection. feel free to write a list.
