Proper DB response? “Ok, I’m sure the kids would like me to be there.” Good if you want to. “Not this time. Thanks for the invite.” Good if you don't want to. “No W, that’s something a family would do together, you don’t want to be a family.” No that's too angry/ vindictive. ‘No response’ No that's a bit rude considering it's an invite.
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I know, detach from the outcome, go if I want, don’t go if I don’t want to.
Right! Your W is just being nice, by all means go if you want but don't expect that it changes anything. Just go and have fun. Do it with no pressure and maybe she'll start thinking you've changed for real.
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The dilemma is my kids want me there and I enjoy watching them have fun, but frankly I don’t feel like being around the lying cheater, she’s not good for me. Do what’s best for the kids or best for me? If we were D, I wouldn’t be participating in family activities.
My attitude is always do what's best for the kids, even if it's not the best for you. I feel separated/ divorced parents should always show they are united when it comes to supporting the kids.
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On another note D5 told me the following yesterday: “It’s not cool having two houses, mom said it would be cool, but it’s not cool anymore. I don’t like having my stuff at two different places.”
Listen and validate. Yes, even with your kids! "That sounds difficult for you, is that how you feel? I'm sorry you're struggling, but please understand that we both love you very much and are here for you."
Originally Posted by CWarrior
Hi Curtis, I’ve been D over 8 years, and haven’t missed a Halloween with my kids yet. Spending time with them on Halloween isn’t about my ex-wife—it’s all about my kids and I.
