Last night 30mins after previous text I received another message saying our daughter was really distraught and missing me. I stated that sounded tough and asked what i could do
She stated that daughter would like me to take her to school in the morning ( This felt almost like an invitation to stay over) So I composed myself and replied that I could cycle over early and take her into school.
So that's what i did this morning, after dropping her off I went back to the family home to pick up my bag and bike.
Had a cup of tea, before leaving and wife started talking about her party, and how good it was to have friends that were genuine, that despite all going through hardships they could all just laugh and be silly together.
I validated that this was good.
She then started talking about the local social scene and how open and genuine the scene was.
She carried on talking about how much was going on locally
This is all sort of a sore point for me as over the last 6 months before BD she was going out more and more and I feel she intentionally kept me seperate from this part of her life.
On some level I feel she was ashamed of me. And I felt like asking her today if she had felt ashamed.
Luckily I didn't but I do feel I screwed up by saying that I had wanted to go out with her more and that I had missed going out together.
This was stupid of me.
She stated I hadn't wanted to enough, that it had fell on her to arrange sitters etc. She went on to say that , that stuffs all in the past now, all the if only's and buts are gone.
That it was an unhappy place and that the changes in me being more open and going out wouldn't have happened with out the seperation.
She then stated that I would be happier and in a better place for it.
I didn't say much ,just tried to keep eye contact and nodded.
I did say I realised some change had to happen.
So because of that foolish interaction I feel she has recomposed herself and appears surer than ever.
I know this is early days and I would be a fool to think I could change her mind.
Going to have to see her throughout the day due to Halloween etc. She's back to offering to help transport my belongings etc.
