Divorce because I betrayed her trust - THREAD 4

[DaB35]

As far as good guy? Of course you are! Good people make bad mistakes. Our mistakes do not define us, how we respond to our mistakes does. For instance, we all slip up in a moment of discomfort and lie. The lie doesn't define us. But if we do not correct it with the person we told later, that does define us.

Thanks Steve. Yes I sure have made a huge set of mistakes here. But I have addressed them and with the help of IC I do feel I've rectified my way of thinking. My outlook on life in general has improved significantly.

Keep working on you. D is not a destination....it is a step in the process. Plenty of LBS' have ended up D'd only to have their WAS come back at some point.

OK. I hadn't really thought of it like that. That is comforting I guess. I don't know what the future holds, but I know I'll want to be happy whatever happens. I am working on myself a lot. It's working, as others notice it now.

Dan, I think your response to her above sounds good. I would also suggest you pursue the option to make it legally binding just to protect yourself in the future.

Thanks AS. Yes my sister feels the same about protecting myself. I have sent the email. I think it's a reasonable polite response, not at all aggressive, and whilst I've not volunteered to do all the work for her, and not sped things up, I also have not deliberately stalled on anything to spite her.

I think we all have a certain amount of paranoia when going through D that we're getting secretly screwed somehow but it sounds like you are both in agreement on all the terms so I don't see an issue. Both parties have to give some thing up.

I don't think W will want to do me over financially - she isn't that kind of person (but then in this situation I acknowledge people can exhibit certa ncharacteristics they never previously showed). Yes we are in agreement on things as far as assets go; there is not been one argument about anything related to that.

We are both giving up a beautiful house. It really was wonderful. We both never thought we'd end up with such a nice house. But now it will be lost (when it's eventually sold). I think I've come to terms with that now.