Thanks IHCLACS That gives me some clarity, it's clear to me that she is wrapped up in self at the moment and there remains an expectation that I should be watching the kids when she wants to socialise.
Fact remains she would never have made all these new friends or tasted this new freedom if I hadn't been at home watching the kids.
Tonight I picked up my daughter as wife took car into garage. I told my wife I could do this as I wouldn't be going out til later. Gave no details ( as I didn't actually have any plans)
When she returned she was super reserved and cold. Almost an unspoken silence about her party.
I just refused to ask her about it and maintained a positive attitude towards the kids.
She strangely offered me dinner at the same time the atmosphere was that I was not welcome.
Daughter made a scene about me leaving and wife asked if I would stay an extra 30mins to put her to bed.
While I put my daughter to bed, wife starts calling that she couldn't find her chip and pin reader for our business account.
Without saying so directly she sure as he'll was blaming me for her not being able to find it.
She stomped and moaned for a good 20 mins, but I didn't bite, didn't try and defend myself and kept positive in offering to help her find it.
This seemed to rile her more but I persevered until I left.
10 mins later she texted to apologise for losing her temper, said it was likely her that misplaced it.
I responded "No worries, know it's frustrating , when I get back to the studio later I'll have another look and let you know"
Gotta say it does feel good when not biting or letting her mood dictate mine.
Boy it does take a lot of effort tho , and a need to stay mentally present throughout every interaction.
