Honestly, if I had evidence of the A right now, I would tell her to leave.
44, she's having an affair. She's done everything but show you pictures. She told you she's planning a trip with him, she's told you she's in contact with him, you caught her lying about buying a ticket and lying about the trip destination. What more do you need? Why is this important, well because you are torturing yourself snooping, you need to just accept the affair is in full swing and quit snooping and do whatever you feel you need to do. I am sorry you're going through this, it's ugly business for sure. Just plan to get your finances squared away and do what you have to do to protect yourself because she may go full GGW and engage in the wild spending that goes with it.
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Someone talk me down from the ledge.
It's OK to be angry. Of course you are, who wouldn't be? Try to process the anger in healthy ways (boxing, lifting weights, running, maybe find a private place and just scream your head off, I actually did that a couple of times). Don't take any actions while you're angry, give yourself time to cool off and then decide what you want to do.
