On the topic of detachment, over the past 3 days I've been able to detach and feel empowered by it. I'm much more relaxed and confident. Just a week before the keystone moment that I had (where I was REALLY able to detach), I couldn't eat or sleep. A deep depression set in, I lost 5 pounds, was running on fumes and I was really scared that I was spiraling into a hole that I couldn't get out of. Then the awakening happened. I'm able to take my W out of my focus. I don't think about what she's doing every moment. Been doing my own thing while at home after we put our son to sleep. I haven't been following my W around like a puppy waiting for affection. I don't expect anything from her, no hugs or kisses and I don't give them either. I've been A LOT more cheerful, cracking jokes and laughing like my old self. During the day, I don't text or call her. If we do text, it's mostly about our son and I just give clear, concise replies.
And then...
This morning before my wife left for work I was in the kitchen getting ready to leave as well. I was grabbing a dish and I felt her waiting behind me. Then she asked,"Hey, do you mind giving me a hug?" I said, "Yeah, come here, I'll give you a hug." Then we embraced for a good while and said our pleasantries as she left. I KNOW that doesn't sound like much, but after weeks of her not wanting to touch me, that was definitely a milestone for me.
I'm not getting my hopes up or anything, but I am seeing the power of my new found strength and confidence. I'm just going to keep doing what im doing. Focus on me and my son instead of my W.
It’s really unbelievable how similar our sitch’s are as well as the timing of them. I went a little over a week sleeping about 3-4 hours a night and eating every 24-30 hours before my awakening. Hearing your W wanted a hug is amazing! It gives me hope. No physical contact for 2 weeks is tough to deal with. It sounds like you’re on the right path!
