Steve85, I have had thoughts of me not deserving my wife. She is a wonderful woman and always put me and the kids first. She called me self-centered in one of our arguments and I agree with her now. But you're 100% right man. I can't beat myself up over the past mistakes that I have made- that does nothing and is not productive unless I learn from them and apply what I have learned. Thank you
Well like Steve said, take what she says with a grain of salt right now. It is healthy in a marriage to have some degree of detachment and to do things for yourself and allow your spouse to do the same. That is all fine and dandy until your W decides she doesn't want to be married anymore, and then suddenly you were "self-centered" and a thousand other normal things you did are now wrong. Example- I used to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity on Saturday mornings. My XW liked to sleep in and so did the kids, but by 8:00 I was building houses for the needy. We usually knocked off around 1 and often I would get home just as everyone else was waking up for the day. So after BD what do you think my XW said about that, that I was "selfish and just did what I wanted to do like that Habitat thing". In my foggy post-BD state I actually believed that and some of the other crap she said. Later I remembered we had actually had a conversation about it and I told her I felt God had blessed me and volunteering was my way of paying it forward. Not exactly the sort of thing a selfish person would say. And she had told me back then that she thought that was really good of me, and she even baked cookies and brought them out to the whole group once. WAS's have a way of making us second-guess everything about ourselves, even the good, healthy things. Now I'm not saying to ignore all her comments, we all could have done better and you should do 180's on any bad behaviors you had. But don't believe EVERYTHING she says.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
My name is "Overtherainbow" but was abbreviated when I signed up. I believe that saving my marriage was possible only somewhere over the rainbow.
Oh really, I don't think I knew that! Not sure what KB's means but being in Texas where a lot of Spanish is spoken I see k-bueno-b (bueno = good)
