Why do you say you are running out of time? I either of you dying? If you mean because of the D, you need to stop thinking of the D as final. If R is in your future with her, it will not matter if there is a D or not. We've seen many a LBS come here that were terrified of the D progressing. That is out of your control. It takes two to make a marriage, only one to get a D. So continue to focus on you. Cement your 180s. Detach in a loving way (really learn what this means, because so many think it means things it does not). And make sure you are filling your time with lots of good GAL activities to keep your mind off of things and to stay busy.
Make her do the heavy lifting for the D. Don't do anything that you are not legally obligated to do.
D is a step in the process. It is not a finality.
True - I had come to accept that a few weeks ago, in my mind I kept saying to myself we may still have a chance once we get done with this divorce. Guess I've regressed a bit from that thinking recently, not sure why.
I miss her so much. Before she told me about the D, I remember her sleeping in the other couch (she excused it as her back was hurting) and me whispering to her "I miss you". I didn't know down the line things were going to manifest this way, but now looking back I recognize all the signs. It just pains me that I felt she never truly communicated how she really felt, everytime I wanted to have a serious discussion of our R she would say "You're going too deep", or worrying too much. She told me the other day that what did I want, did I want her to spell it out for me? ...
The other issue we're having is religious. We're both deeply catholic, we used to teach Catechism together, lead retreats, etc. Now I'm the only one taking the kids to Mass, every weekend. Not sure what's going to happen once the D finalizes, if she's going to take the kids to Mass or skip her weekends ... In this respect, I don't know what's going on in her head or soul. I try to avoid the subject and guilt her into it, but she knows I'm thinking it.
