Originally Posted by Iowadazd
I only have limited time for updates, sorry.

Hi Iowa, I'm sorry you're feeling low. ((Hugs)) I urge you to make time to read carefully the above replies AND the threads on Boundaries and Validation BEFORE talking to your wife. Post here your understanding of the difference between Boundaries and Ultimatums, between Validating and Agreeing. It sounds like you have strong chances if you can invest some time in self-improvement.