what a strange name! I'm sure it means something to you. My name is "Overtherainbow" but was abbreviated when I signed up. I believe that saving my marriage was possible only somewhere over the rainbow. I was sad and weak and and am still recovering from that and figuring just who and what I am. It's a long haul, and there's many obstacles ahead. Continue to focus on your journey. Detach so that you don't get wound up over everything she says, or hang on her every word. Detached men and women are attractive, thoughtful, and you can't pull their strings.
Many here have been in a similar situation, so do what you can to learn from their situations and how to best apply it to yours. Learn to validate other people's feelings before injecting your own thoughts. For example, your EA (emotional affair) is a great opportunity to validate her feelings. I had an EA of sorts when my W and I were dating. My W had an affair. We have both hurt each other in similar ways and the pain and confusion takes years to get through. Try to understand her on this. Keep your pain to yourself for now.
I see you wrote how passionate y'all used to be, that's great! A major positive IMO. So with the way she is acting now with staying out late, acting single, telling you she doesn't want you, and major attachment to the phone, I think you need to re-assess your plan of action. MWD has a saying "Do what works. If you don't know what works, don't do what doesn't work". I'd list out the things here that haven't worked and add those to your list of things not to do at this time (for example, asking about her whereabouts, asking her about divorce). Keep working on the PMA, do the GAL when you can but no peacocking! Let her see authentic changes and don't flaunt it. Pull your shoulders back, head up, and be the best you at all times.
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I told her that I'm in limbo and can't live like this.
Apparently this is not true as you have not taken any action on this. So choose your words wisely and be concise.
Also, Steve is a great poster to have in your thread, but I think that if she is questioning the relationship, considering herself a single woman, and not wearing her ring that you should quietly take yours off and GAL. Show her that you hear her, that you aren't plan B. If you think it adds pressure, that is yet another reason not to continue wearing it.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
