Not willing to quit

[Turbine]

Three weeks at a new job, actually in the fourth week. All are 50 plus hours in front of a lathe.

Email from the lawyer about a pre-trial. I have no idea what or if any of my concerns were addressed in the previous email to her (L). Since I got that email I have been getting angrier and feeling more frustrated.

I want to be able to go through my stuff on my schedule. W hasn't been home or cooperative and the locks were changed. Something else that seems to be getting glossed over. I change the lock on the bedroom door and am told to change it back. Yet we are supposed to cooperate and she changes the locks... won't let me in and makes threats about tossing my stuff.

I woke up this morning still very frustrated and dark.

Even the thought of not seeing my kids or grandkids anymore isn't much of a deterrent. I'm not taking my cholesterol meds. I don't care. Gym time helps and my new schedule has me tired after ten hours.

Yes, still clinging and hoping at times. Other times I just want to sleep in my bed, sort my stuff and go. Let her have the house. All the mortgage and bills. Take my name off that stuff and let me go. Seem she is clinging too. Getting resentful toward her instead of loving and forgiving.