A year on and standing

[ToSmile]

Hi AS and LH19,

Thanks for sharing your views and advice.

Yes, I thought to myself that as I had said my piece to her, I would leave it as it is that even in future such instances occurs of her messaging so discreetly and such, I would not react on it the slightest bit.

I would need to DB even further and GAL more. With regards to the doing things as family part, normally if there is an event coming up, I would extend the invite and if she does not wish to join, I don't force or beg her to and just leave it as it is. As like now for her family side events, she would ask me if I would like to join and if I am not, she will just go ahead with the kids.

Just that this weekend, we would be going for a short trip arranged by her family much earlier as I think they were hoping that we can mend through such get together? But we opted for separate connecting rooms for the trip.

Another thing on GAL for me is maybe I am not that ready for my kids to be independent yet? There were occasions which is supposed to be her nights to look after the kids but she went ahead and plan events for herself. And when I told her that I am going out too, she would suggest that just leave the kids by themselves after they sleep. I am not very comfortable with that as the chaps does wake up middle of the night and when they found neither of us around, would be very worried.

Just like couple of days back, the younger one woke up and saw the mum missing and started to question her where she went in the middle of the night even though she accompanied them to sleep and goes out after that. For me when such occasion occurs, I opt to stay back with the children instead of proceeding with my plans. May not be a healthy move because it would just encourage her to go ahead with her plans anyway even though it's her turn to look after the kids. I am still looking for better arrangement for above situation.

Frankly, judging and looking at the state she is now, I cannot imagine getting back and living life with her. It would be a nightmare.