From Replay To Depressiom

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As long as the EA is still in the picture, I would consider her still in replay. EA's are more difficult to break because they invest more of their emotional energy outside their marriage but also receive emotional support and companionship from the new relationship. The affair can last 6 months, two years or longer, but it depends on the dynamics of the parties involved. I am going to suggest that you may want to do some research on the net and look up emotional affairs to get a better understanding of why they are called "affairs of the heart". The affair, whether it is physical or emotional, has to die a death on its own and usually it is a slow one.

Her behavior sounds like she's settling down quite a bit and considers you a "safe" place to land, i.e., friend. You will see that many of the MLCers will settle down once the anger is gone and just as long as you don't rock the boat or put pressure on her, she will remain friendly and have many moments of clarity along the way. In fact, they can become very friendly and people tend to jump to the conclusion that they are actually doing the major reconnecting. Unfortunately, that is not the case in many instances. Until the affair partner is gone, true reconnection will not take place.

I did notice that she's still pointing the finger at you for all of your past mistakes. This is still her way of justifying why she's doing or has done what she did. I'm glad you listened and are keeping the door ajar for her.

One last thing, true reconnection will work in reverse of how she entered the crisis. You will be the last person that she actually reconnects with. She will reconnect with family, friends, co-workers and begin to slowly reconnect with you.

I would suggest that you continue as you have been and show her that you are the prize. Show her that you and your home are safe places to land.