Add me to the "take back your bed" chorus. It's your bed as much as it is hers... Moreso if she has strayed (but let's not assume that without knowing). Either way, Steve is dead on balls accurate, here. You need to have this woman's respect before she can even think about loving you romantically, and running away from your own room to out of the house and then to the basement or guest room isn't going to do that. None of us is saying force yourself on her physically or romantically, and your gut feeling that it's too early (WAY too early, in all likelihood) to be thinking about "dates" is spot on, but I can think of no reason you shouldn't be in that bed, and several reasons that you should.
And, yes, there is hope. Both Steve and I, as well as others here, have been blessed to make it through to reconciliation, and that was after overcoming affairs in both cases, so there IS hope. But right now, out of the box, your primary focus needs to be on you... 180s, GAL activities, turning yourself into a man only a fool would leave (AMOAFWL). Some of that will, necessarily, involve your interactions with her (listening, validation when appropriate, projecting strength and confidence in your interactions, etc) but, by and large, you will be focusing first on "saving yourself" so that, if and when the time comes, you will be better equipped to save your MR.
Stay strong, hang in there, and God Bless. We're here to help.
Last edited by hoosjim; 10/29/1907:08 PM.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
