The other shoe

[Ready2Change]

You can't change the past, just learn from it. You can change your behavior in the future.


There are nuggets of gold if you listen for them. There are always better ways to respond. Use this as an example.

Then she said that if I had noticed her more then she wouldn't feel the need to do this. I said not to put this back on me and she is responsible for her own actions.

One of your W's needs is to FEEL desired. She feels this by WORDS. She tells you this point blank. You CHOOSE to argue rather than listen and validate.


Listen, I have and every other guy on these boards have made the same mistake. It is part of our personal growth to learn to communicate different. More effective. More compassionate.

I said not to put this back on me and she is responsible for her own actions

Better options off the top of my head:
"I am sorry you feel that way"
"I think you are stunning. I am sorry if I haven't told you this enough"
"How would you like me to notice you more?"