Well that certainly didn't go well. Have you read any of the advice on this site? Telling her you were going to tell her mom and sister was ridiculous and unproductive.

So here are the answers to your questions:

1) Let her reach out to you. I wouldn't say you go dark. But let her be the first to reach out. Likely staying at her sister's is not feasible long-term and she will start wanting to return home at some point.

2) How would you even try to get her back into the house? Beg? Plead? That isn't attractive at all.

3) Ultimatums never work out, and as your instinct suggests it will likely backfire. I believe this confrontation did more harm than good. I think you handled it all wrong, and you could have diffused the situation by simply stating that the behavior was unacceptable to you, and then listen and validate. (Note, you validate her feelings, like when she said it was your fault "So you feel that my not paying attention to you played a role in your decision." Validation is not agreeing or disagreeing, it is simply showing you understand how she feels.) Instead what you wanted least has occurred.

Have your read DB or DR? I highly suggest you get it and read it now that you have plenty of time on your hands.

Last edited by Steve85; 10/29/19 06:26 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018