Hi! I think I should introduce myself as currently “optimistic”
Welcome and hello! Yay for optimism. Some of us have reconciled.
Originally Posted by JR425
I hit rock bottom when my wife asked me to leave for the rest of the week on 10/08 following a routine disagreement. I VERY reluctantly left, went to a hotel and got in my own head for 4 days, before I finally WOKE UP!
It sounds like you needed the days apart. Going forward, though, make her do any work and deal with any hardships of separating—you don’t want it, but you won’t stop her.
Originally Posted by JR425
When I came home, I moved into the basement.
Oof, very typical, but anti-DB and one to consider reversing.
Originally Posted by JR425
That was 2 weeks ago but I trusted my gut and stopped asking. I’ve been in the dark ever since and cannot determine the best way to approach my situation or my W.
Good instincts and pro-DB. You’re sleeping in the basement and she hasn’t asked you back—you know it’s not great!
Originally Posted by JR425
I d“Where have you been these past years? You’ve missed out on a lot.” I told her I understand that I was completely absent as a H and F and can’t change the past but only work on where I go from here.
Very typical. She sees your changes but is upset they took so long and may not trust them to stay. A caution—don’t go overboard and make unfair or unsustainable changes. Don’t buy into the narrative you were completely absent before even if you were more absent than you should’ve been.
