Steve.... I am confused I don't know if I'm the LBS or WAH. I'm not sure why you think I'm being contradictory. I really don't. I've seen an number of LBS go back and forth as well.
I do want to save my marriage but am I saving it for the wrong reason - kids, finances, etc.? I've read a number of stories on her about people drawing lines in the sand. One person said that once their spouse cheated that was the end and there was nothing that could be done. Their line was infidelity and no matter what the spouse did- changed 180, did everything right. They would never get that person a chance. Are the pictures my line? Is it saying she's like my sister?
I'm trying to figure that out.
Iowa, this is why I point your contradictions out! So that you could recognize your confusion, Admittedly, you might be a little bit of both a LBS and WAS. LBS because your W is the one that started to move away from the marriage. You because your reaction to her actions has been to consider walking away yourself. Most of the people that come to this forum are trying so hard to hold on to their marriage that they are gripping their WAS to the point that they want to get away. WASs are like cats, the tighter you hold them, the more they struggle to get away.
But it is okay to be confused, as long as your recognize your confusion. Trust me, I've lived it, the worst thing you can do is to make the decision to walkaway to quickly, and then spend the rest of your life wondering if you had been more patient how things might have turned out.
Anyway, the way through the confusion is to be in IC. I've seen a lot of LBSs come through this site and those that insist they can't afford IC, or that they don't believe in IC, struggle mightily. I often say to those that say they can't afford to go to IC that they can't afford to not go to IC.
I will close by asking you a question based on your discussion about where someone's line is, and your final question. I will turn it around and ask you: Are the pictures your line? Because only you can answer that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
