The real truth is she is nothing more than a roommate that has been living under the same roof for over 3 yrs now. Just had our 32 nd Anniversary and will probably be the last. No intimacy for years and I have put up with it for unknown reasons other than thinking she may change and that I love her.
This seems to happen a lot in long-term marriages, this loss of passion. My XW and I still had sex regularly, but I had told her several times in the later years that it felt like we were just roommates. It's hard to raise kids and both work and still keep the passion alive, and we didn't. Sometimes the couple stays together anyway, but sometimes one of them decides they want more out of life.
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Her last conversation was 3 weeks ago when she said she was still waiting on her L to draft a spouse waiver so she can buy a house. This has now been over 60 days in the works, and no documents. Additionally, no signs of looking for a house either although she may and I wouldn’t know.
Just leave that to her to work out. Try to quit spending a lot of brainpower on what she's doing, what she might do, what she's thinking about, what it all means.
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I believe she wants me to be the bad guy and file
This is one case where you should be more than happy to disappoint her.
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I thought time was a good thing, but at 58, I’m wondering how long I have to live my life like roommates.
I'm 58 as well. You're probably having a lot of the same thoughts that I have- how much longer do I have on this world? How long will I be able to perform sexually? How many "good" years do I have left, and do I want to spend them as I have been or do I want to implement some changes? I'm very fit and healthy, but at this age one major ailment could strip all that away quickly. So yes I hear you, and yes you do need to consider those things in deciding what direction you want your life to take. My XW left because she wanted change in her life, and she did make a lot of changes. I wanted things to stay the same, but looking back I think it was just complacency. I've made many changes since then and my life is more fulfilling as a result. So even though BD, S and D was the most painful thing I've ever been through, it was the kick in the pants I needed to really embrace life.
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Writing this is just infuriating. I’m at a loss.... if the M could be rekindled and there was affection and intimacy, I want to work on it but as it has been it’s not worth the heartache and stress.
Unfortunately there are no guarantees. You can DB your heart out and you might establish a new relationship with your wife that is even more fulfilling. Or she may leave and never look back. But even at 58 you have time, there's no need to rush things. Keep reading, keep DB'ing, keep working on yourself and give her time and space. Eventually your path will become more clear.
