Very sorry you find yourself in this situation! What I make of it, well it sounds pretty typical. Long marriage, fights here and there, nothing major wrong but passion missing for quite some time, spouse finally checks out and is done. It took a long time for her to get to that point and first you need to understand there is no magic quick fix that will put everything back to "normal" again. You've got a long road ahead and a lot of work to do, mainly on yourself. Start by reading DR and all of the threads Cadet posted. Go through other sitches on here and read the advice they were given. Focus heavily on getting out, GAL'ing and leaving your W alone. Read Sandi's rules and use those as your template on how to behave. The idea isn't to restore your old marriage, it's to set up a scenario to possibly build a new one with her down the road. But you've got to be very patient.
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I've been doing all the outward things like dressing better and hitting the gym etc.
Good! Keep it up.
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I just want to be happy again. Depression is a horrible place to be.
And you will be, but it takes time to recover!
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Of course I want to re-attract her as she blatantly stated that she's no longer attracted to me. Is that even possible? Re-attraction?
Yes. A lot of guys here have done it. Off the top of my head Steve's sitch is a good one to read, so is TXHubby's. Both were dealing with wayward wives having affairs and they attracted them back by leaving them to their mess while they focused on themselves.
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I'm not a bad looking dude and have been told that im a catch by my female coworkers.
Take a holistic approach to attractiveness. It's not just appearance, it's value. Your W sees you as very low value right now, her perception of you needs to change.
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I think that I've exhibited weakness while she was undergoing her treatments which turned her off, and then even more so while crying to come back to me.
