The last straw

[Zip]

LH thanks for reading. I agree that action is very much unattractive. It isn’t me as I can’t keep up with the chores on the farm let alone getting ready for D27’s wedding next summer. There is so much to do with what seems a lot of time but it gets away fast so no problem staying busy in that regard.

The issue is simply that she moved to the back br and has been there since 8/4. Minimal communication on issues and was made clear she wanted out since 5/20 at the first MC session. The true end was the pic incident that made her convinced she was done on 8/4. The real truth is she is nothing more than a roommate that has been living under the same roof for over 3 yrs now. Just had our 32 nd Anniversary and will probably be the last. No intimacy for years and I have put up with it for unknown reasons other than thinking she may change and that I love her. This is now becoming more difficult as she is probably going to stay here until the wedding next June then leave. No conversations about it as she won’t discuss. It’s a control issue and she feels she has the upper hand due to my actions.

Her last conversation was 3 weeks ago when she said she was still waiting on her L to draft a spouse waiver so she can buy a house. This has now been over 60 days in the works, and no documents. Additionally, no signs of looking for a house either although she may and I wouldn’t know. Her life is still the same other than sleeping in the other room. No affection at all...no goodnight..nothing unless I initiate it. Then maybe a hug and a kiss on her cheek.

It’s getting really old and wearing me down. I believe she wants me to be the bad guy and file, not her although she is the one who demanded a D. Not once but many times. For her to go, she needs to relocate her office from the house or commute back to the house until she moves. Her life is status quo, no changes at all. In fact she is in a place where she wants to be...alone but at home...and she can tolerate me as she can regulate what she does with me which is minimal.

I thought time was a good thing, but at 58, I’m wondering how long I have to live my life like roommates. Writing this is just infuriating. I’m at a loss.... if the M could be rekindled and there was affection and intimacy, I want to work on it but as it has been it’s not worth the heartache and stress.

Just been beaten down and running very low on patience. Read DB and DR which gave me hope but it’s so easy to feel defeated when such little change takes place.

Any insight is much appreciated

Zip