Hoosjim's back... and maybe his WW, too (?)

[hoosjim]

I did not reconcile. I am in a new long term relationship (Close to 10 years now).

With my lady, I do not ask questions about past sexual experiences. When she brings them up, I will listen. I make it safe for her talk so I can know the "real her". Can you get mentally to that point?

I agree with and am comfortable with that paradigm. Actually, so is my W, and we have both been open with each other about past sexual experiences before we met.

Problem is... the dynamic i am talking about here is a little more complicated, don't you think? We are talking about sexual experiences here that, necessarily, involve betrayal, infidelity, adultery and which are potentially the most proximate and painful hurdle to be overcome in our reconciliation. It's one thing to openly discuss, with your current spouse or significant other, relationships you had before y'all met... it's quite another to discuss intimate relationships either of you had with someone else while you were still in a supposedly committed relationship with each other.

The former, i know from experience i am comfortable with. The latter... I honestly feel like i don't know, although I fear that deep down i do know and that that's why i avoided digging that deep on that point.

Maybe a quick session with the IC, on the QT, wouldn't be a bad idea...