Iowa, one other point. You seem to contradict yourself. Like the "How do I save my marriage?" vs. "I don't know if I want to be married to her." Or "Detachment sounds like giving up" vs. "I gave her the cold shoulder all weekend."
This is not a question that I want you to answer but just to think about: "Did you come here to get advice and support, or to argue with things you don't agree with?"
After all, your first post was in the discussion thread about how guns were phallic symbols and therefore inherently macho. (Something I strongly disagree with, since at my gun range 33% of the shooters are female and that percentage is growing.)
I struggled with that too. If you go back and read my first couple of threads. Here is the thing, the vets that post here have been here a longtime, have seen just about everything, and have even been through it themselves. If you let go of your preconceived notions, and try to have an attitude of openness, even if you don't agree with it initially, you will find that this place has a lot of value. Being confused at this stage is NORMAL. But don't let your confusion ignore good advice, or cause you to shutdown to advice that goes counter to your feelings. As cadet said, DBing is largely counter-intuitive, but that is what makes it work.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
