Hoosjim's back... and maybe his WW, too (?)

[SteveLW]

So here is the thing. I will quote a line from Queensryche, "I Don't Believe In Love""

"She said she loved me,
I guess I never knew,
But do we ever,
Ever really know?"

Here is the thing whether she did or didn't with OM. Or some other man at some point when you your marriage was not good. You never ever really know.

I've known spouses that took affairs, or one night encounters, to their graves. Their spouse never knowing or even suspecting.

So you could ask her. She could say no. But would that settle it in your mind? I am guessing not.

Here are some more important questions:

1) Does it matter? I mean, if she were to admit to one night of wild passion with OM, would you take any action?
2) If it does matter, what would that action be? It has been so long that testing really is meaningless (issues would already have arisen). Are you going to leave her over it? (I am guessing not.)
3) Whether it does or doesn't matter, why is it bothering you? Maybe that is something to talk about in IC? There is no harm in going to IC to deal with this. I am of the belief now that dealing with the aftermath of D, nearly Ding, or affairs that we suffer from a form of PTSD. And that occasionally we need to deal with that with a professional.

Our old house is in the process of being sold. As soon as it is I will be scheduling IC with a Christian based therapist for myself.