Alright brother, you have a whole team of people here that want to help you save your marriage. From my perspective, you have a great shot at this. I have followed hundreds of sitch here. I have seen what works and what doesn't.

My assumption is you want to save your marriage. I will offer my best suggestions based on this assumption.

Read this post:
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2846984#Post2846984

One quote that stands out for you:
"Men are attracted to the visual, woman to the verbal."

I strongly suggest that you gradually up your game in the verbal with you wife. Do this in non-pursuing way. Pay close attention to how she reacts.



Originally Posted by Iowadazd
she made a comment about wishing she could take some time off from being a mom.
Perfect place to validate.

W"H, I Need a break from the kids"
H:"I understand. Parenting is hard work"

You could also test the waters:

H:"I understand. Parenting is hard work. I will arrange for a sitter Friday night. How about you were that sexy black dress and we will go have some fun"


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She started taking better care of herself. She'd dress better when I went to work... she was grooming herself different and she suddenly had some new lingerie.
I highly suggest you do the same.

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But she would also make vague comments like, "I don't know how you seem me as attractive" " "My life is no fun" 'I remember being single and it was fun" I'd try to reassure here and point out the good things in her life.
These are big hints to you. She needs excitement in her life. You should be the one bringing her excitement.



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she was getting a lot of feedback and interacting with...mostly men...was very flirty and playful with the people.
I continually do this with my lady. Hopefully we can guide you to a place that you are doing this with your lady. She NEEDS the attention. Her husband was not meeting this need.

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... private messages and she had a lot of them from creepy guys saying disgusting things....
Can/do you talk to wife like they were? Do you understand "The fine art of erotic talking"? If not, look into it. Woman do like it.

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Things had gotten bored and she felt like her true self was being inhibited.
Time for you to lead her into an excitement.

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She said that she enjoyed having the bed to herself the night before. But felt bad about.
Just validate these type of statements.

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She said she felt like my sister and not lover. Said I never looked at her "with fire" anymore. She wanted to feel desired and she couldn't see me being that person.
Sounds like a challenge to me. All is fair in love and war.

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Then she said she was concerned about our future.....I asked if she wanted a divorce. She didn't say no or didnt' say yes. She just looked down at her feet.
Bomb drop. The old marriage is dead. Time for you to create a new one.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712