Is now the time to go back to her and state how I don't want a legal seperation or divorce but that I won't stand in her way
Absolutely not. Your W is conflicted and is trying to catch herself when she feels herself enjoying your company. I think that's a great sign. Keep validating your W and act "as if" you have had an awakening and now realize that you are going to be fine no matter what happens to your marriage. Keep smiling around W, keep having fun with the kids.
And lastly, remember this will not resolve quickly. It will take much longer than you would like so keep your expectations next to nothing.
