I have seen this in a lot of sitch on this board that the WW/WAW accuses the spouse of being dangerous or they fear for their safety. Why is that? I had never cussed at my XW, threatened her physically, or threatened her verbally in my entire 22 years with her. When she left she said she couldn't talk to me without a mediator for her safety. I went to drop off D13 one time for a visitation and got out of the car to let XW know something about D13 and she started screaming at the top of her lungs "don't touch me, stop hurting me, leave me alone," which even shocked D13 because I wasn't even near her. After her first affair I never cussed or showed any aggressive action against her then either. So why do I see these accusations come up time and again?
Well clearly it's not due to any actions on your part. I think MrBrside hit on some good points as to what may be motivating her, it's mainly attention and control. She shows a lot of narcissistic tendencies and a narcissist wants attention- it doesn't matter whether it's positive or negative as long as it's focused on them. You've detached and moved on but she still wants and needs the attention so this is her twisted way of getting it. So what do you do, you go "grey rock":
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The grey rock method is a technique that removes the fascination and entertainment from a narcissist's life. The grey rock method is a practice where an individual becomes emotionally non-responsive, boring, and virtually acts like a rock
Google "grey rock method" and you'll see a lot of info on it. It is the best way to respond to narcissistic attacks. If you take her fuel away she will get bored and look elsewhere for someone to focus attention on.
I'm very sorry you're going through this, it's bad enough going through a breakup without all the personal attacks! You're doing great though, especially with your D.
