Divorce because I betrayed her trust - THREAD 4

[DaB35]

Hi DS

Yes that's right. I got the feeling that if I did open up to her she'd see that as a failing and a weakness. She was happy to be weak in front of me (strangely, only to me and her parents as far as I recall), but I felt like I couldn't be vulnerable in return, and felt that if I felt unhappy or stressed I should just bury those feelings and try to deal with them alone.

W and her siblings are quite inconsiderate if people feel a bit down - they just say "oh pull your socks up and stop moaning and get on with it", but not in an encouraging way (e.g. where they might support you or suggest ways of feeling better), more of a "why are you bothering me with your moaning" tone of voice (e.g. "I haven't got time to listen to you moan. Just get on with it.". I never saw how that helped anybody.

I read Gekko's posts in your thread. My W is an alpha-female. Absolutely. Perhaps this stems from her being the youngest in the family. Her sister was always in control and seemed to boss her about/fight with her when they were younger. Her sister was embarrassed of W when they were younger as W was a bit of a tomboy. Her sister even introduced W to her own friends as "her other younger brother" as she was embarrassed by W and the way she dressed!! I thought that was so awful - my sister and I never had that dynamic, and have always been on good terms - but W just laughs about it now. Thinking back, it must have planted seeds of doubt and insecurity in herself. May be it's done more damage than she is letting on.

Her previous boyfriends before me were all alphas essentially, and she admitted she "got bored" of them (her words) after 2 years. Always 2 years, then she dumped them. With me, I was less aggressive from the start, and so maybe she felt comfortable being the one in control all the time. But conversely she expressed dissatisfaction that others would point this out.

And yet she still refuses IC. I was really good for her; and I think she knows this. Is she one of these people that is destined to not be completely happy in any R?