Thank you for reading and posting on my journey . It's been such a great resource this forum and outlet for me .
I defintly agree with distance and pursuit . Over the last few months when I GAL H seemed to have a hard time with it . I think exactly what you said my prize just walked out the door . Last week I went out with some friends . H was quite sick that day . I offered to hire a sitter but he declined . I realized when I got into the car after 4-5 hours out I had not phoned to check on kids . I brushed it off and thought about the years I've have heard I'm overly protective or worrisome about children . He really disliked it . I drove home and walked in the door happy as ever . And truly happy I really had a great time . I walk upstairs and H is in bed crying and just broken . I was actually kind of stunned . He was just done . That's when he said he was going to move home .
I think for me I had a lot of alone time without children . It was easy to make plans knowing when I was free and he had parenting time or kids for a few days . I have never been one to spend as much time out of the home away from kids as I have over the last few months . For me this is going to be a balance .
R talks are mainly about things we are doing in future . I may have to rethink R talks because I always thought they were about us working things out or not . His confusion . Where now they seem to be more soft . Maybe 5-10 mins we will chat about something that went wrong or right . He did get me with one today . Im just still so off maybe a little short . He was out of house all day and all the phone calls and texts were started by him . He started with how he's really hopeful for us . I validated that he wants to do this right and work hard in MC. That he is scared too . Aren't we all just scared .....
I didn't ask for full transparency . Mainly because I can search his phone , emails , gps but if they want to cheat they will find a way . I could ask him for his phone and he would willing hand it to me .
Behavior he agreed even before stating he wanted to come home to change it . I don't even know if I asked . More he came to the conclusion of what in the world was I thinking . I am by far not a warden but the late nights every other day not happening ever again . Time will tell on this one .
He hasn't asked or said me for anything I can think of to control sitch. I can GAL as much as I want or don't . I am a very mindful person so it could be more me making sure it's ok doing things or feeling off about it . I am still very independent but I see your view on doing things with respect .
Today I realized this is my new normal . I do not have security in my marriage and it may come back it may not .
I will read what blu attached as a link .
You seem lik such a strong person with a lot of faith . I didn't take anything you said as mean or abrasive . I am here for help and advice . I ll take everything I can get .
