After reading your thread this week, I just have this sense that the judge and both lawyers are fed up w/their clients and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if your lawyer advises you that he can no longer represent you. As for your h's lawyer, he may very well say the same thing to him...but he gives me the impression that he is money hungry and will be there for your h no matter what, regardless of the things that your h comes up with.
As for the marital debt, it should be 50/50 since all of this debt happened while he was still living in the home and as your spouse. Whatever debt that has been incurred since he left the home is another matter...but you already are aware of that. However, the judicial system may look at his situation as: he lived in the home, did very little and you accepted him for who he was and he didn't contribute all that much when he was there, so they may look at him as a house husband and not a "money making provider", but rather someone who stayed at home and ran the household while you worked.
Gerda...at what point will you come to realize that you just may have to move from the home that you are living in? I honestly don't see any way around it and your h is h3ll bent on you selling out or buying him out, which he knows you do not have the money to do so. Have you ever thought of suggesting that you and the children remain in the home until the children graduate from high school and then sell? I do know that this particular card is played a lot in my area.
I know that you like where you are living, but there may come a time, very soon, that you will need to either come up with the funds to buy him out or move. Your situation is very a difficult one, but the reality is...someone is going to have to make a decision about this and it may come down to the judge stating what needs to be done by a certain time. Gerda, I know you want to stay where you are, but to be on the safe side, start looking around just in case. A home is where you are w/your children. Just know that no matter where you move to, it will be home to you and your kids. The court does not care about anything but settling up this case and closing it out. They figure that the children will continue to live w/you, as their mother.
Do you have any idea of the logic of him wanting to play around w/the brokers until June? That doesn't make sense unless he's hoping that you will fall even further behind in debt and then declare that you've had enough and are willing to give him everything to get rid of him.
I've mentioned before that you may have to declare bankruptcy to get out from under your debt. It's a legal strategy that many have used and there is no shame in declaring it when the debt is too high and it's taking too long to pay it off. I know that you don't want to do this...but you may have to in order to get out from under all of that debt.
Gerda, I wish I had something to offer you in the way of a solution, but your situation is very unique and both of you appear to be very set in how you see your situation. I wish that the lawyers could sit down, negotiate and come up w/something that would be acceptable to both parties. It's costing both parties lots of money, time, energy and patience.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
