Good. No one said you were pursuing, when new people come here there is certain advice that we give to everyone because there are a lot of "typical" mistakes new LBS's make, and pursuit/ begging/ pleading/ negotiating is one of the biggest ones.
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Also, outside of the pictures thing there is no indication of her doing anything at all. She isn't reaching out to these creeps.
There are 3 types of affairs we describe here- PA (physical), EA (emotional) and IA (imaginary). What she is doing is very harmful to the marriage and does fall under the category of "affair" here. Doesn't matter whether she's reaching out to them or not, the damage is already being done. And it's very likely she will continue to escalate her activities.
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I haven't talked about leaving the house.
Again this is a piece of "proactive" advice, we're trying to warn you of pitfalls that a lot of LBS's fall into.
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Also the advice of kicking her out isn't practical. First she is the caregiver for our youngest. I couldn't kick her out without also kicking my kids out. I am NOT going to kick a 6 and 4 year old out.
You can't legally kick her out of the house. But at some point she is more than likely going to talk about leaving, and she will probably want YOU to be the one to leave. She'll say some feel-good stuff like "this will really help our marriage" or "if you could just leave for a while, I'm sure it'll help me sort this out and then everything will be fine." A lot of LBS's are very eager to help put things back to normal even if (they think) it means leaving for a while. But the WAS is simply trying to get the LBS out of the house, once they're out it's easy to keep them away with more lies, gaslighting and excuses. So they're setting up a scenario where they keep the house, they have custody of the kids, and the LBS is paying for everything while living on people's couches or in a seedy apartment. We've seen it happen so many times that we warn about it up front when people come here. A lot of our advice isn't for what is happening to you right now, it's to prepare you for what -might- happen.
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I was talking to my brother-in-law (W's sisters husband) about what happened. He suggested that I create a fake account then expose her on that website. I thought it was a decent idea.
Why? What would be the point? Don't engage in passive/aggressive actions. If you want to "expose" her then do what I suggested above and just tell her you know, and that she should be ashamed. Don't tell her how you know, don't get drawn into a long conversation, just tell her and leave the room or go for a walk or go work out.
