Mine did something similar with the new lingerie, new perfume, the clothes, grooming different, all that stuff, the nails anticipated weight loss surgeries, fantasy lives in Iowa and contacting Chris Soules from The Bachelor. Traveling across the country in an RV as a single Mom. Heard the same excuses of "How can I have time for another relationship or cheating when I'm home with a two year old?" Got the whole speech of I love you like a brother and I'm not in love with you anymore. We have all seen these red flags here. and heard the same things over and over to an extent. It's scripted and this place and others have the playbook. Here is where you start. Like the veterans here say do not leave the house in case of child abandonment accusations, take the master bedroom back. Calmly tell her you know but not how you know. Don't let them manipulate you into thinking that you are at fault for the way she's feeling or how she is acting. Listen for cues for what you can change if it comes up, but don't let them blame shame you into accepting that she is acting/feeling because of what you did or didn't do. Acknowledge it but don't accept responsibility for it or accountability for because that will cement her position even further.
When they lose all respect for you they justify their actions with their feelings and they will cherry-pick instances from the M that made them feel bad to justify their actions. It's called cognitive dissonance. Or as they say here (The Fog)
The vets here are more experts than I am. I have been in limbo for a year, an moving, and getting divorced anyway. But if I could do it over again, I would pack up her stuff and show her the door. Let her find another place to live. Protect your children, your assets, and your home. I wouldn't care how small infraction is or if it was just pictures she's apparently and obviously seeking attention from other men and validation from them. Don't let her shame you for snooping either or give you the spiel about invasion of privacy. She's is the guilty culprit that is acting on her current feelings and justifying them anyway she can. You see she is missing that spark and that desire from you that is why they test us about their looks and their self-esteem and attractiveness and self-worth. If she's not feeling it from you whether has to do with you and your actions, or her own and her own mindset. You're in a lose-lose situation you need to realize this right now. So if you're going to lose you better do it on your terms and with discipline integrity and respect. She's lost all respect for you. Do it now and do it early on and nip it in the bud before it gets too late, and you wind up begging, pleading, conceding arguing and she loses even more respect for you. Pack her stuff and show her the door. If she refuses to leave then you have another issue on your hands, be prepared to buckle up, meet with attorneys, protect yourself, your finances, your emotions, and your kids, because you are in for a bumpy ride. Now that you know. Stop snooping. Nothing good will come out of it but emotional instability. Give her time and space, and focus on you and your kids. Get out and GAL like everyone says here. Improve yourself. Limit discussions to logistics kids and finances, Get a L consultation, and stay the hell away from relationship talks unless she brings it up first. They are kryptonite, unless they are willing to work on the M. And they won't be doing that anytime soon because they've lost all respect for you. She clearly wants attention and validation from other men. You take back to master bedroom for two reasons one because it is your throne. Two it commands respect. ( she is going to fight you on it tooth and nail cuz she doesn't respect you.) Three. You take it back because you don't want someone else coming over the house and sleeping with your wife in that master bedroom while you're away at work, or being exposed to your kids. Steve 85 might be able to help with this kind of scenario as he has experience with the online attention seeking thing.
