Sex has been gone since Oct. But my wife has asked about it. I just say, "not a good idea because of what's going on"
Iowa. The rules on sex for DBing are:
1) Do not initiate it. Getting turned down will set you back. 2) If she initiates only oblige if: - She is not in a PA (EA isn't the same thing because with no physical contact with AP sex with her is safe) - You can do so without any expectations. None. Having sex with her does not mean things are fixed.
If you can follow those rules, then I suggest actually doing that with her. In my sitch my W tried to initiate one night right after BD. When I said "really?" she said "forget it!" When I did a coaching session later with another anti-D expert, she pointed out that she was probably really horny. The next time she initiated I obliged. It was some of the best sex in years. (She did ask if we could not kiss, which I obliged as well.) But here is what I am thinking. She is clearly looking for an outlet. If she is horny and you don't provide it, she could end up looking for it elsewhere. That would be fine IF you didn't want to save your marriage. But you do.
It doesn't sound like she is in a PA, so next time she initiates, if you can heed rule #2, then go for it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
