Hey Iowa, each sitch is unique, yet they all have a lot in common too. My XW suddenly invested in sexy lingerie and got real clingy with her phone too, those are some of the early signs that BD is on the way. You haven't officially been BD'd but given what you're describing, you might as well have been.
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I want to talk to her about the photos and our marriage, but don't know where to start. Any ideas?
Well there's no "good" answer here. If you don't say anything then she will continue what she's doing and it will eat you up. If you say something then she will probably continue as well, but go deeper undercover with it. If it were me, I would tell her I know what's going on, and I am ashamed of her. And I would say no more about it. If she asks how I know, I would just say "that's not important, what's important is I know now, and you should be as ashamed of yourself as I am of you." PERIOD. I would quit snooping and get out and GAL as much as possible and give her tons of time and space. Focus on you and the kids.
We don't suggest leaving the family home for numerous reasons. If she chooses to leave then don't stand in her way. But don't go yourself.
Also do not abandon the master bed. The home is the castle and the master bed is the throne. If she likes sleeping by herself then she can go sleep on the couch.
She has lost ALL respect for you. Please read Sandi's posts and the history of her previous situation, it's not a lot different than yours, but you will hear it from the wayward's perspective (she was a wayward who later reconciled). Sandi talks a lot about the loss of respect and how damaging that is to the M, and how to get it back.
