Persistant Endurance (Part 7)

[joejoe1]

Curtis,
It has been said so many times about you cycling back and forth and not taking the advice given. But let me point out something. You asked what your WW see in this jerk of a guy.

Well, let’s see, he’s a jerk, but he’s let’s her know when he feels disrespected and calls her on it. His words are demeaning, but his message is: “WW I’m not going to put up with your sh%t. You lied to me and tried to play me. See how she responded, she realized he wasn’t playing and got in line.

Let me point another thing out, how you think your WW will look at you when/if she finds out you saw messages from OM and the way he was talking to her and you just acted like nothing happen, you were willing to take her back and not hold her accountable behind that situation or you weren’t there to try to even call her on her sh%t and say I don’t want my kids around this man. You will look weak

You keep treating your WW like she’s the prize, but most people treat things of rarity with priority. You are treating yourself like a common object and not like a prize worth more than any worldly possession. You are the prize, the diamond, the entity to work for, but you are treating yourself like sand on a beach and allowing your WW to take your for granted. STOP IT. Treat yourself like a prize and your WW has no other choice but to do the same thing.

You have a problem with control. Seems to me, that you biggest problem is not be able to control things and letting go. Nobody wants you to D your WW, We aren’t telling you that, we aren’t telling you to let go of the Marriage. We are telling you to let go of the idea that you can control this woman, and the idea that you have a fix. Because you don’t. Fix yourself, and by fixing yourself you become more attractive and the best option. Right now you are the worst option for your WW. She sees you as the cause to all her problems. And Curtis keeps returning as the same person she left, to try and get her to come back. Well how about, Curtis not going to her anymore to ask her to come, to explain to her how he feels, and he becomes patient and wait until she returns. Respect yourself, love yourself and appreciate yourself, SO YOUR WW CAN DO THE SAME THING.

Joejoe

[neffer]

Great post JJ. Curtis, listen to us.

Set W free. It´s enough.

RESPECT

(((C)))

[curtis7]

I am done and have set her free.

Tonight I sat her down and said the following:
“This isn’t working for me anymore. I would have preferred to work things out, but I realize that’s not what you want. I respect myself too much to continue waiting for someone that doesn’t want to be with me. I have decided to move forward with my life. Hopefully we can come to an agreement on custody and finances and make this process as simple as possible.” I then handed her the asset list.

She only said “ok” in an accepting tone.

I said “I gotta go.” She said “ok” again and I walked away.

I remained calm and strong throughout looking her in the eye. Not surprisingly it didn’t seem to phase her one bit. She is still so deep in affair fog. This is what she wanted. I love her enough to give her what she wants. I am done remaining in an open marriage. I stood for almost a year. My kids will know I tried to do the right thing. So that’s it, the end of my marriage. My fight is over, I have let her go.

[WMLC]

Curtis,

Having had a similar conversation with W last night, I sympathize with you. It’s not easy. But know you did the right thing.

[LH19]

C,

I’m am really sorry it came to you having to have that convo but I want to say that I think you handled that perfectly.

Now I have to warn you that she is going to test you. Moving forward I would stick to only discussing kids and the settlement. Do not respond to any other texts.

You’re a good dude C and deserve so much better.

Stay strong my friend!

[MrBrside]

My fight is over, I have let her go.

Well done Curtis..

But the fight isnt over. Your fight "fighting for her" may feel like its over, but need to be strong as i suspect the real fight has only just begun.

I suspect

She will be temp checking sooner rather than later. And with all due respect, i feel you will let your guard down on this.. Hence be strong.

Sandi has highlighted how selfish the WAW can be. She will try, test and probably abuse you.. You need to be strong here and earn that respect. She will use your NGS against you and i feel you will take a step or 2 back. Dont let her call the shots.. Be stronger..

and remember

LOSE THE HORSE ;-P

[ovrrnbw]

Popular saying here is "Divorce is just a piece of paper". You still need to DB for yourself because a divorce isn't going to stop her from contacting you and pushing your buttons. That's why I'm not in favor of these profound convos.

Curtis, you doing ok today? I know having a big talk like that can be draining.

[neffer]

Keep walking the road of respect Curtis. Keep moving forward. Be consistent with your choices. You need to be strong there. She´ll be temp checking soon.

RESPECT!

(((C)))

[curtis7]

Hey everyone, thanks for the support. I’m doing alright, only slept about 4 hours last night, but today I feel more at peace.

I will not allow her temp checks to sway me. I’ve allowed my boundaries to be crossed far too long. My eyes have been open to her cake eating for months. It finally sunk in that I am the prize. The pick me dance is over. She’s made her choice, repeatedly. I’ve given her enough time and I’m starting a better life for myself.

GAL this weekend consists of heading out of town for a major college football matchup with some buddies from college, it’s an annual tradition.

Thanks again for the support, I know so many of you have been trying to get me to wake up and let her go. I appreciate that. This is my time now!

[Thornton]

You are now on the right path, Curtis. Keep going!